Gee. Who could ever have seen this coming?

Every once in a while, way back when I was in high school, two meatheads would agree to fight when classes let out.
They were brainless lummoxes, the kind who liked to snap kids’ jockstraps in the gym locker room, and sometimes, when they had a beef with each other, they’d head to a patch of grass just beyond school property and go wild. One guy would pull the other guy’s windbreaker over his head, the guy blinded by his windbreaker would kick the other guy’s shin, the two of them would crash to the grass as they aimed for each others’ balls, and we onlookers would laugh with delight at their expense, not knowing whom to root for because both were idiots.
I’ve unearthed that blessedly buried memory while watching Musk and Trump do their worst to humiliate themselves and this once-great nation. I see no need to recap their play-by-play. And who are we supposed to root for, anyway? This is like Hitler versus Stalin in 1941, mass murderer versus mass murderer. This is like Iran versus Iraq, trench war versus chemical war, during the 1980s. This is like the courtroom clown show in 2016 when Johnny Depp sued ex-wife Amber Heard and Amber sued Johnny back.
Look, we all knew there would be room in the Oval Office (or, as Trump says, “the oval desk”) for only one raging narcissist. We all knew this liaison would have less ballast than Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. But, speaking for myself, I didn’t think it would crash and burn over the Big Beautiful Bill just because the detestable duo apparently disagreed on how many people should lose their health care and how many poor kids should go hungry.
On the one hand, I’m on Team Trump because his flunkies want to deport Musk. On the other hand, I’m on Team Musk because he’s calling for Trump’s impeachment and suggesting (without evidence) that Trump is one of Jeffrey Epstein’s sex pervs. So tough to choose – while guzzling popcorn! Perhaps the simplest solution is for Linda McMahon to put these two malignant degenerates in a wrestling ring and stream it live until someone cries uncle.
I have no idea how this Musk-Trump mudfest will play out politically or financially, nor does anyone else. I suppose it’s sufficient in the short run for us to just laugh at the spectacle of rich pricks behaving badly (we love shows like Succession, Sirens, White Lotus, and Your Friends and Neighbors), and to keep tabs on all the clowns who’ve already weighed in. (Font of depravity Alex Jones is fighting with the Trump flunky known as Catturd! But Kanye West – Kanye West of all people! – is urging Musk and Trump to cool it.)
Personally, whenever Musk or Trump ups the ante with another brainless remark, I’m reminded of lyrics from jazz pianist Mose Allison:
“Y’know if silence was golden

You couldn’t raise a dime
Because your mind is on vacation and your mouth is
Working overtime.”
But here is what bothers me most: Last week was the 81st anniversary of the death of 4,427 Allied soldiers, who gave their lives during the first-wave assault on fascism. Did they die for what we have now – a fascist circus infested with felons, drunks, druggies, dopes, and all manner of incompetent lickspittles? This is supposed to be a serious country. A serious country needs to be governed seriously.
Instead what we’re seeing now is the most vivid evidence yet that MAGA is nothing more than a toxic stew of unbridled ego, tawdry self-interest, and serial trolling. Did our boys storm the beaches…for this cesspool?
The peak travel season is here, but our friends abroad have gotten the message. A new report projects travel to America will be 22 percent lower than last year – an economic loss of $12 billion.
It’s no mystery why. Shakespeare got it right in “The Tempest” when a character said, “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”

Copyright 2025 Dick Polman, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.