If I ever want to get a bridge named after me, I need to contribute to national unity.
I’m more or less incapable of uniting anything more complex than peanut butter and jelly. This makes the job rather difficult. But I am not discouraged.
I focus on the fact that Americans are known for self-improvement, and also that there is nothing you can’t get if you quietly slide it into an 8,000-page omnibus bill.
To gain a better perspective of what it takes to unite a nation (and also of where my bridge could go), I took a trip to a place known as the crucible of the revolution: Valley Forge.
Now, I may not know exactly what “crucible” means, but nobody knows what “Valley Forge” means either. I always thought it had something to do with blacksmiths. It doesn’t.
It’s a camp. It’s where the Continental Army cheerfully roasted marshmallows and sang campfire songs before steamrolling the British.
Just as a point of historical fact, I have to mention that there was a lot less marshmallow-roasting and singing than there was freezing to death and misery and disease and freezing to death and starving and suffering and also freezing to death.
I wanted to go in the middle of winter and walk the whole park on foot to relive the Continental Army’s experience.
We know the story: how the soldiers marched from Trenton to Princeton, how they took refuge on the Schuylkill for the winter, how their frozen feet left the snow dyed red.
Right off, Dad nixed the walking plan. He said the sentiment, rather than the literal experience, was more important.
So at the beginning of summer, we followed their footsteps in an air-conditioned Toyota.
Winding around the miles of camp, passing people throwing tennis balls for their dogs, it was hard to imagine this being an army’s quarters for half a year.
Copyright 2025 Alexandra Paskhaver, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.