A couple of days ago, I retrieved one (of about a hundred) of our family doglets’ chew bones from the seemingly unreachable chasm under my youngest and quietest daughter’s bed using an ingenious invention of my own making – namely a straightened-out wire clothes hanger.
This same apparatus also comes in handy for retrieving various undergarments (along with a metric ton of lint) that somehow fall behind – and then underneath – our washer and dryer.
The clothes hanger/wonder hook prompted me to consider some other indispensable inventions that often make me question how I ever survived without them.
First, I must pay homage to the marvels of the Squatty Potty toilet stool. The Squatty Potty has absolutely revolutionized my semi-private bathroom/cell-phone zombification/harassment by pets time. Without going into details, let’s just say that the Squatty Potty “optimizes the workflow” when I’m taking care of business. In fact, I’d take the Squatty Potty with me to my workplace if I could do it without risking public humiliation.
Next, I need to say a few words about the Life360 app. For those of us who have made the mistake of purchasing our children a cell phone, the Life360 app eases the pain and guilt by allowing us to stalk them virtually as they go about their day. We can even monitor their speed if we’ve also made the grave error of purchasing them a vehicle.
Gone are the days when parents could be blissfully ignorant about what their college-age children might be up to in the middle of the night. With Life360, we can wake up paranoid in the wee hours of the morning and be comforted to see that they have arrived safely at destinations like The Tipsy Turtle or The Dixie Chicken – undoubtedly participating in an all-night prayer meeting.
Copyright 2024 Jase Graves distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.